High Taste

    I am a child from a single parent. My mother fell a victim of rape and her parents told her to not abort the child, thank God she didn't abort the child, because I won't had being in existence.

     Now to my story, my mom treasured me so much and didn't want any pain to come my way, she didn't want me to fall a victim of rape or a victim to a player so she took me to a girls only boarding school where I didn't know how to relate with any male.

    I lived my life relating with only females because my mom never allowed me to relate with a male.

      When I entered the university, I was happy and wanted to relate with guys. I didn't know I was using my hands to buy my pains and sadness.

   In my 2nd year a guy wooed me but I wasn't interested, I told my best friend about it, I was making jest of the guy but my best friend was like "babe, that guy is damn hell rich. Don't you want flashy things?". I accepted to be his girlfriend just to appeal my greed.

  He visits me in my house on a regular basis, with his flashy Mercedes and he always make me laugh with his funny and nasty words.

  On a Friday he asked me to visit him, I didn't think of us having sex but I had it in mind that we would have fun. So I went there wearing a shirt and a tight trouser. When he saw me he wasn't very happy we hugged and after the hug he became moody then I asked him why and he said he is feeling insecure. I was confused and asked him "insecured?" He said yes and I asked how, he said he is not sure I love him as much as he does then I told him I loved him more than he thinks but he said there's no proof, I asked him "how should I proof it?" He said sex.

   I didn't know what he was up to, I was so innocent and fell a victim of his deceit, I never knew that would be the last time we would joyfully meet.

He stopped answering my calls and avoided me with his whole strength. It killed me inside but I was used to the flashy gift he gives me and the expensive foods I ate and I didn't want people to see I don't live that kind of life anymore.

I decided to get the money using my body, I became addicted to it and enjoyed the pleasures until I saw the symptoms of something I didn't expect.

Then weeping became my daily song and 'had I known' my daily quote.

 My life is not worth living, how can I be killed slowly by an alien in my immune system? 

I heard death is the vaccine to pains.

Now I'm in a dilemma of life and death.

I hugged my knee as I stayed in front of my door thinking of the easier way to end this everlasting scar, and how to stop the ever flowing river of pains, grief and regrets which flowed through my soul and has flooded my heart when I felt a soft hand tap my shoulder.

 

"Get out of my sight you bloody bastard!!!" My silent cry became loud and my inner most pain led me to giving him continuous slaps on all the part of his body I could lay my hands on. "You left me after using me why are you here again!!!!!?" I asked yelling on the top of my cracked voice.

"I came back for you because I felt the pains I placed on you and I am ready to take responsibility and love you as I claimed to......" he answered my question.

I stopped slapping him, shook my head and said"it's too late because you are talking to a dead soul" after which I left him, shut the door on him and took the vaccine to my pains.

           © Ojsegun